The other night I went to dinner with a new friend. We’ve both been in Austin for about the same length of time, and at one point he remarked that it seemed like I had such an overwhelmingly vast network here. He asked if I’d known many of my friends before from New York, LA, or SF. The answer was no. I just moved here in October of 2024 but already, I have some of the deepest and closest friendships I've ever had in my life. I have a community here that reaches far beyond any I've had in any other place I've ever moved.
The truth is, I learned how to make friends for the first time in my adult life after my divorce, when I moved to Montana. I didn’t know a single soul. One day, I saw some people my age playing pickleball in the park. I’d never played before, but I wanted to join. Instead of just walking up and asking, I went home, picked a bunch of plums from the tree outside my little house, made some jam, and baked some scones.
The next day, I showed up to the park— basket of warm scones in hand— and asked if I could play. And just like that, a doorway opened. Soon enough, I was being invited to dinners, birthdays, and long, winding evenings around kitchen tables. Every time, I brought something homemade. I became known in that tiny little town as the woman who always showed up with cake.
It was never really about how perfect the treats were (though, not to toot my own horn, they were always insanely good). What mattered was the gesture— taking the time to feel into what I thought the occasion called for, and showing up with something warm, homemade, and generous.
Sometimes it’s a cake, sometimes it’s a pie, sometimes it’s something as simple and quick as a tiny jar of jam. But I've learned that a little bit of effort can carry a whole world of welcome.
So here’s one of my favorite quick recipes to gift, share, or keep on your own table:
Apple Cardamom Jam
Ingredients:
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2 small apples, peeled and roughly chopped
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2 cardamom pods, husks removed, seeds lightly crushed (or 2 tsp of cardamom powder)
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Pinch of sea salt flakes
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75 g (about ⅓ cup) cane sugar
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Thinly sliced & chopped peel and juice of ½ lemon
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40 ml (2½ Tbsp) water
Method:
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Combine all ingredients in a small saucepan with the water.
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Bring to a rapid boil over high heat. Boil for 5 minutes, stirring often.
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Lightly crush the apples with a spoon as the mixture thickens into a loose, spoonable jam.
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Spoon into a mason jar. Seal, allow to cool, and store in the fridge.
For an extra cute added flair, if you've got an old pretty patterned fabric laying around, cut it into strips, and tie a little ribbon around the edge.
Spread on buttered toast, pancakes, or warm scones. Spoon into yogurt or parfaits. Pair with manchego or goat cheese on a board. Use as a glaze for simple cakes or tarts. Keep a jar in your fridge, just in case you meet a new friend.